First Time Mommy Mistakes

Hey loves,

This post should also be titled "Things I Hope to do Differently With Baby #2", because obviously it's too late to go back & change things with baby #1 now lol (No I'm not pregnant, just thinking ahead). As a first time mommy it seems like you are thrown into this life changing role that you really can never be prepared for enough. I read so many books, articles, magazines, watched shows, read blogs, watched vlogs & still I felt as though I was not ready & I didn't know what I was doing half the time. Now that Camila is almost 14 months I can look back and realize that there's really no way of preparing for the amount of love, fear, change, adjustments and learning that comes with being a first time mommy. I'm still learning that I have to trust my mommy instincts because they are almost always on point & I need to relax a little more and not fear that every single thing is going to harm her. As time goes on I'm becoming more and more aware that there is no "rule book" or one way of doing things as a mom. You have to take each day, hour, minute and moment as it comes and follow your heart that is oh so full of love for your babe. With that being said, there are a few things that I definitely think would have helped us if we would've done them differently from the beginning so here goes...

1. Be mentally & physically prepared that BREASTFEEDING most likely is going to hurt & take up ALL of your time for the first 6 weeks. I was in complete "la la land" when it came to breastfeeding before I was actually doing it. I feel like everyone is so focused on labor & delivery and new baby gear & clothes & names & all of these other things that they forget to tell you how HARD yet amazing breastfeeding is. Now that I know what a challenge it is, I will definitely be more aware and hopefully mentally prepared for what's to come. Also, breastfeeding is NOT for everyone & that is perfectly okay too!

I miss this so much, but I do not miss the pain of the first few weeks whatsoever

2. SLEEP DEPRIVATION: I was in shock at how much of a zombie I was when Camila was a newborn & even after the newborn stage there were a lot of sleepless nights due to teething, sickness, breastfeeding, etc. I hope to take some extra time for rest (aka a Mommy&Daddy getaway) before we even consider having another baby. Plus, I plan to actually sleep when my baby is asleep instead of try to be superwoman because at the end of the day nothing else matters if mommy is not alert, healthy & able to be mommy.

Literally only way she would fall asleep the first few weeks

3. Speaking of SLEEP, I rocked & soothed Camila to sleep from day 1. After a lot of practice, crying, trying all the methods and numerous mistakes she finally drinks her milk, I lay her down and she's asleep within 10 minutes. Although I loved the cuddles, whispering lullabies and late night quiet time, it actually did more harm than good to have her so used to being rocked to sleep. I vow to lay next baby in their crib while they are still awake from day 1 so that they can learn to soothe themselves and fall asleep on their own early on.

always by my side

needed to have her eyes covered, paci in mouth & mama rocking & humming

It took quite some time of rocking to bed until she finally fell asleep on her own, Hallelujah!

4. INDEPENDENCE: aka Tummy Time/Floor Time/Play Time/Feeding: I would consider myself a germaphobe & for that reason I made a HUGE mistake from the beginning. I was so careful and scared that Camila practically never touched the ground. Tummy time was torturous for me because I felt that she hated it, but it was just because I didn't do it enough. It wasn't until she was about 6 months old that I realized that in order for her to be independent I had to just lay her on the floor and let her do her thing, put things in her mouth, roll around, touch everything, play by herself and get a little dirty. Another BIG mistake I've made & actually am still working on is that I hold Camila's bottle. When I started to bottle feed I felt kind of disappointed so I wanted to make it as much of a bonding experience as possible so I pretty much didn't want to let anyone else do it. Fast forward 10 months later and Camila still does not want to hold her own bottle. She can hold it on her own, but prefers not to unless I practically force her and walk away. Even though it's hard when they're so cute & tiny, the littlest things (like holding their own bottles) help form their independence and as parents we have to help them along the way

Tummy Time attempts

"Mommy's got my bottle, I can just sit back & relax"

5. LISTENING TO EVERYONE: I didn't realize that when you have a baby EVERYONE is going to have an opinion. My family, my husbands family, friends, co-workers, strangers, everyone. At the beginning I really took everything everyone said to heart & I tried things I wasn't so comfortable with & I got frustrated because I felt like I was doing everything wrong. I have learned that although everyone has your best interest at heart & only wish you well, they are not your child's parent so their opinion comes 2nd to yours. With much practice I've become an expert at just smiling, listening & saying "oh ok, thank you." Don't get me wrong, a lot of times the advice is tried & true and I end up doing it anyways, but don't let your mommy instinct go unnoticed because you listen to others before yourself. Tuning out unwarranted advice about your baby is something I wish I could've mastered earlier on, but now I got it down pat.

<3

*** COMMUNICATION***
I don't know about you, but for me after I make almost any mistake it always boils down to the fact that I either didn't communicate my expectations and needs, I didn't ask the questions, or I didn't ask for help. It is SOOO important to be on the same page with your partner and the people who are going to be helping you with your baby. TALKING about sleep schedules, feeding schedules, work schedules, bath schedules, school schedules, date night, babysitters, budgets, alone time & everything that is affected by bringing a child into this world is so critical & I can't stress this enough. With Camila I wish I wouldn't of been embarrassed to ask for help when I needed it, too busy to talk about "what if's" with my hubby before they happened & established an ideal "routine" for our days when baby arrived so that we could've had more of a game plan and structure. Now we live by "To-Do Lists" & schedules and my planner and I love it. Of course things come up and don't always go according to plan, but it's nice to be on the same page. Also, I have no shame in my game when it comes to asking for help anymore..."it takes a village to raise a child" right?

YES!

I hope this helps some of you beautiful mommy to be's & even us mommy's already because it's never too late turn things around! At the end of the day it's all about wanting what's best for our babies and giving them the best of us. We are all super mommies & it is NOT always rainbows & butterflies & that is OKAY.

It's about that time to pour a glass of Cab & get ready for my class tonight (perks of online classes).
Happy Humpday!
xoxo
Arianna